Detachment from Past Regrets & Hurts
by Swami Swatmananda
Swami ji started by an anecdote about a person asking his Guru on how to achieve greatness and was told that he must first know that he is a human. Humans are the only species who have an intellect. The mind needs to be brought to the now and present instead of being in the past.
People's perception about today is seen through coloured glasses/filters of yesterday, the past. We must know what detachment is not. It is not forgetting the past, suppressing hurts/pain, not feeling bad. If one does not like something change it. If one cannot change it, change our attitude. It is not that we will not remember the past but we must accept it and move on.
The future becomes the present and present becomes the past. The Ganga flows from the high mountain with clean water. It is clean by nature but we pollute it. In this way we also pollute the good mind. Only by tyaga is amrit possible.
Today people are looking for closure to move on. There are so many karmic forces at play. However, one cannot get closure in all situations so one needs to create it themselves.
One cannot change people no matter what one may feel about their need for change.
Preparing the Regret list is necessary which helps introspecting. Two choices – find solutions or accept. Regret is brooding over past failures, strong feeling of disappointment. Regrets can make us doubt ourselves and give us Self-limiting beliefs like “I am not good enough”. One should not label themselves or others. One should know their limitations and their worth. We are NOT sinners but divine.
We have a choice either to run from our past or learn from our past.
Past = Lessons - Regret
Guilt is not a productive emotion but learnings from the past ceases to be regret and becomes an experience. We are chained to the past and make 4 neurotic sentences “That’s me, I’ve always been that way, I can’t help it, That’s my nature”. These keep us from growing. Neuroplasticity refers to the brains ability to change and adapt as a result of experience. Therefore, we can change at any change provided we channelize our potential.
Poojya Gurudev gave us these mantras “So What, Bounce back, look ahead.” People who go through failure have active brains; only the right attitude is required.
Determine the real cause of regret and take a step back and rationally identify it.
Forgiveness is the key – forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness and forgive others.
In the Geeta, Lord Krishna says that even the greatest criminal who is resolved to transform is a sadhu.
Our culture lets us transform when we shed the baggage of the past.
Take responsibility without blaming others. Take charge of one’s life using power of choice/purushartha.
